if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
