I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
