I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
