True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize