It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
