I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
