Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
