Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
