Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
