how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
