why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize