I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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