if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
