He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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