Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize