I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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