I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Actions speak louder than pants.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
