remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
