I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
