this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
