I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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