he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize