i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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