i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
