porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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