oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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