I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
