I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
