my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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