the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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