thus making me awesome and them whores
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We need to get me chipped asap
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
