Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
