OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
