Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
