I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
