Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
