Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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