I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
