More tranny stories later!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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