Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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