dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
