theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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