If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
