it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
