There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
