your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
