really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
