..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
