Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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