so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
