what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
