At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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