And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize