Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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