What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
