Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
