your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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