u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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