she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish you could order shots online.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
