It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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