Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
